A Perfect Fit

I think relationships are a lot like shoes.

You finally find THE pair that you've been searching for and you're absolutely sure these babies would be a great addition to your wardrobe, but then you find out that the only size available is a size too small for your feet. WTF??

 So you think you can make them work by pushing, prodding, jamming your feet into those too-small shoes.  Maybe if you bent your big toe this way and walked a like a duck, you could make them work.  Maybe if you wore them long enough, they'd stretch out (a whole size???) eventually.  Maybe you can tolerate the discomfort because they just look so good and it would be so worth the blisters.

But how much of this can you really tolerate until your back is messed up from walking at odd angles?  Your knees hurt, and your feet look like gargoyles?  What do you do?  Because you've wanted these shoes for so very long, are they really worth all that pain?  No, not really ... so you send them back ... utterly disappointed and broken-hearted ...

So now you find the relationship you thought you always wanted, and it seemed to be perfect, like nothing you'd ever experienced before.  You finally had everything you desired ... almost ... except for that one thing ... that one thing that made you question those values and boundaries that took you so long to build, affirm and feel good about.

So you try to live with it, by accepting the flaw, by compromising ... by settling  Maybe if you overlook this one flaw, it'll be ok.  Maybe if you don't think about it too much, it'll be ok.  Maybe you can put up with the pain while apart because those brief moments together were so magical and seemingly perfect, and you were no longer lonely, and so it had to be worth it, right?

But then you see that all the work you'd done for yourself, with yourself, to yourself in order to find yourself again is starting to flounder ... your soul is eroding ... your once bright spirit is dimming ... you've exchanged your self-truth for his truth ... self-loathing is simmering, and you're even more lonely ... bitterness becomes a familiar flavor, anger a constant companion ... so tell me, is it all worth it?  Is that relationship ... that man ... worth diminishing your divinity?  What do you do?  Because, other than for that one flaw, you've wanted a relationship like this for so very, very long ... is it really worth all that pain?  No, not really ... so you let him, and the relationship, go ... utterly disappointed and broken-hearted ...

But know this ... there will be another pair of shoes that will make your mouth water and eyes light up ... and this time, they will fit perfectly and comfortably ... all the while looking good, with perfect arch support, a toe box that doesn't pinch, and a height that shows off those beautiful calves and you feel absolutely luscious every time you slip them on ... 

 And know this, just like those shoes, there will be a relationship that will fulfill your true desires without your ever, ever, ever having to compromise your values or re-structure your boundaries.  It will be secure, mutually respectful, loving ... you both will delight in one another ... together, both your souls will soar and your combined light will brighten up the lives that surround you ...

 All you need is faith ... not hope ... but faith ...